


Too Bad...

by highlyrelevantnumber (Leonora_Acker)



Series: HL x POI x BoL One-shots [4]
Category: Body of Lies (2008), Homeland, Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, major warning for sass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23825971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonora_Acker/pseuds/highlyrelevantnumber
Summary: “I told you, don't let the Machine hang out with the CIA. They're bad influence.”
Series: HL x POI x BoL One-shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1669003
Comments: 10
Kudos: 3





	Too Bad...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sh_ua](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sh_ua/gifts), [AZ-5 (elim_garak)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elim_garak/gifts).



> To Sh_ua and AZ-5 (elim_garak) for being so amazingly enthusiastic and supportive!

Quinn hadn't thought he'd be doing another mission in Islamabad– for either his old employer or his current one–, but here they were, the entire Team Machine. He had protested the plan, of course, saying that attempting to go this close to Haqqani could very easily get them killed. Carrie had told him, "Don't ruin the party", and given him the _look_. If anyone else had concerns, they didn't show it because Carrie's tone was rather accusatory and they weren't in the mood for being called a coward. So, with Carrie giving them a little nudge in that direction, Root had no difficulty getting everyone on board. _Of course._

He knew the mission was vital. The Machine needed to get access to the phones Haqqani's crew were using. The problem was She couldn't do it remotely as they changed their phones every day in addition to using a secure private network. Now, the phones neither the Machine nor Her human assets could do anything about but the private communication network they could hijack. How? That was Quinn's problem. Through Root's cochlear implant. In order for this device to work Root would have to physically be placed near Haqqani so that the Machine, through triangulation, could gain access to Haqqani's signal.

It was a good thing Root had a direct line to Her because She had planned the whole operation, had run a fair amount of simulations so far and would be running them nonstop as the mission was unfolding, and most importantly had promised to have their backs in the unlikely scenario– that's how She characterized it– something, _anything_ , went wrong. Root would have two of her teammates with her and the three of them would have two sharpshooters with what were fairly certainly the largest guns on the block to watch out for them. Nevertheless, if there's one thing Quinn has learned during his military and SOG career it's this: _better to be safe than sorry_.

When the Machine said Root, Roger, and Shaw would have to attract attention to be brought before Haqqani, Quinn couldn't imagine Root would do something as dumb and melodramatic as throw a smoke grenade in the feared war leader's back yard. But then again, it was Root; dumb, chaotic, and melodramatic was her element. Still, his index finger curled and tensed on the trigger and he could sense Reese beside him react the same. On the other hand, the guards who caught the gang of three seemed rather bored, as if people were doing this sort of crazy stuff often trying to be near Haqqani, whom they considered a legend and a hero. The pair of bored Taliban soldiers on guard duty didn't even properly check the trio for guns or other concealed weapons, just loosely tied their hands behind their backs and, because they were white, started taking them to their master. _Their mistake, really._

As the bored guards were leading the small team of three to what, to the outside observer, might appear to be their doom, Root's face lit up and she opened her mouth to speak. Shaw rolled her eyes. _Worst timing ever._

"Oh, Roger, I forgot to tell you," Root said in her usual cheerful tone, "I passed as an Iranian woman the other day!"

Roger didn't seem to be sharing her enthusiasm. "Yeah, Root. I mean, the person in question would have to have been blind or stupid, but I owe you." He was aware there was a very real possibility he'd lost the bet, but this was neither the place nor the time to be arguing with Root. He made a mental note to avoid making bets with her in the future, though.

Quinn and Reese continued to watch from their elevated spot on the roof of the building opposite the enemy's quarters. Just across from them was a room that had a large window, the view through which wasn't blocked by curtains, and was currently empty of occupants. According to the Machine's calculations, that was the room Haqqani was going to question the intruders in and they should be able to watch everything going on as well as get clean shots of their targets. Sure enough, there were Haqqani, a few of his men, and their 'guests'. No one was standing in front of the window, the snipers could see through the glass and hear through their comms all that was being said and done on the other side. Quinn smiled to himself. Their boss really _did_ think of everything. _So far so good._

Haqqani nearly jumped when he felt his silenced cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He had no operation underway that day and he surely didn't expect anyone to call him. He was a terrorist, not a businessman. Usually, _he_ called his men; it rarely happened the other way around. This was odd– not just the phonecall but the number displayed on the screen as well. They used burner phones and generally took every precaution to avoid being tracked down electronically, so this wasn't such a weird occurrence in itself. Only Haissam Haqqani had a sixth sense for when something was amiss. Answering the call, he was convinced beyond doubt something was deadly wrong.

He didn't speak first; he waited. There was a woman on the other end of the line– or, at least, the voice he heard resembled that of a woman. Although it didn't sound completely human; there was a strange mechanical sound to it, like a lot of voices having been synthesized to create a unique new one. The voice represented the perfect balance between a machine and a woman. "Release my assets at once," the voice commanded.

Haqqani was surprised but not frightened. _Yet._ "No, I don't think so," he refused to comply in an authoritative, firm voice.

"In that case," the Machine replied solemnly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell you 'insa'."

Ferris felt secretly proud because he was the one to be communicating with Her exclusively in Arabic.

"Ugh, Root!" Shaw complained in exasperation, "I told you, don't let the Machine hang out with the CIA. They're bad influence."

At the mention of the acronym, Haqqani's eyes widened slightly and he seemed confused. _What the hell was that Machine they were talking about?_ Roger couldn't help a grin. For only a fraction of a second, fear flashed across Haqqani's hardened features.

"Your word is my command, sweetie," Root replied playfully to Shaw, before saying in a completely different tone: "Copy that."

_'Copy that'? Who is she talking to?_ Haqqani looked at the phone in his hand, puzzled.

"She wasn't talking to you, actually," said the mysterious voice, belonging to what he'd heard being referred to as 'the Machine'.

Haqqani looked at Root, the corners of her mouth pulling upwards in an equally breathtaking and frightening smile.

Then, the shooting started...

"That was a smooth operator," Reese commented in his trademark deadpan low voice, putting the rifle down.

Quinn exhaled the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. He tried to keep his voice level while attempting to calm down his heartbeat. "Hell, yeah!"

There was the faintest hint of enthusiasm for mission accomplished as they saw the other three come out of the opposite building. They shared small smiles and fist bumped each other. Then, they packed up their equipment and disappeared to join their comrades.

No one would find Team Machine... But the team would find _them_ if their number was up.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. [Remember that time Hani said 'insa' to Ed?](https://youtu.be/ySu6q4ydPZQ)
> 
> 2\. ... AND more references to [Welcome (Back) to the Machine](/works/11105142/chapters/25703316). **(Warning for spoilers!)**
> 
> 3\. So... We've officially reached the end of this mini series. Thank you for reading/commenting/leaving kudos! I'm blessed to have you as my readers and hopefully you enjoyed this as much as I did.
> 
> I still haven't figured out what to do next. It will probably be _Both sides of the law_ , better known as my conspiracy fic.
> 
> See you soon!  
> ~ Nora


End file.
